How To Change Your Reality by Maturing, Expanding and Growing

 

Change occurs consciously or unconsciously. The level of self-awareness you have largely determines if life is perceived to be happening to you or life is happening in you. Though change happens constantly, most people are unaware of how they are contributing to their current life circumstances. It is only when we reach a point in our journey where we feel stuck, frustrated, confused, or scared that we take the time to ask, “How did I end up here?”

Though it appears that life ‘just happened’, the truth is that we are exactly where we created ourselves to be. Life can operate by no other principle. 

We all have our limits. When we reach a level of frustration that is too painful to bear, we find ourselves ready to make conscious changes in our life. This requires immense courage and total honesty. When an individual is honest enough to ask themselves how they arrived at their current circumstances two things occur: 1) they take responsibility for their current life situation and 2) they open themselves to receiving the answer and a solution to their problem.

Our Inner Programs

As mentioned in my previous post of Dare To Free Yourself From Limiting Beliefs, the mind is the creator of your reality and the programs that you have downloaded are called beliefs. When we accept a belief as true this colors our perception in every interaction we have. Thus, it can be said that most people live their lives through unconscious self-fulfilling prophecies of their own making.

When you go through life unconsciously you allow these programs to run in the background filtering every experience you have with previous data from a past encounter. Thus in effect, you are living the same experiences over and over again. These universal difficulties may include: finding a romantic partner, the continuing struggle for financial freedom, chronic physical ailments and diseases, cycles of frustration and depression, working at a lifeless job, not having a sense of passion or zest for life, confusion as to who or what you are really are, etc. These repeated patterns are seeking your attention.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” – Albert Einstein

When we sincerely take the time to ask ourselves how we ended up in a given situation we open ourselves up to receiving new information. This new information comes in the form of advice, coincidental encounters with people, seeing a book or movie pop up over and over again with a certain topic or theme, being asked to stretch ourselves at work, seeing someone that needs your help with a similar issue, being called to travel to a new place, a stranger offering their help at the perfect time and place, etc. These are the ways in which the universe speaks to us and answers our questions in a way that we can pay attention to. When we open ourselves to receiving new data and information to integrate within ourselves, we change.

The Power of Imagination and Visualization in Reality Formation 

Change does not happen overnight. The process of reality formation first begins with a new inkling that things may be different from what we’ve previously known to be true. In the beginning change is extremely subtle and starts with a new belief or program that has entered into our minds. Often times this new belief circulates as a new thought and builds in a momentum of intensity over a period of time. As we play with this new belief (ex: I deserve – to be listened to, to feel safe, to be loved, to have a job I love, to be healthy, to be happy) we start to visualize specific scenarios in which we embody this new belief. This is called day dreaming and imagination.

We may visualize meeting someone exciting and new, finding that perfect job, speaking to a large auditorium of people on a subject we are passionate about, feeling physically pain free and revitalized, having enough energy to play with the kids and pets, going running, painting, cleaning the house, getting paid what you are worth, etc. All this imaginary work is vital to establishing a new paradigm of reality. Being able to actively visualize a new future-self living your dream life brings the courage and necessary energy to build this new reality into physical manifestation. Repeated imagination of a given thought, scenario, encounter, or experience will eventually bring it into your current life.

“The amount of time it takes for something to manifest is different for everyone and is largely dependent on how focused your mind is and how much energy you have at your disposal.” – Liz Hancock

This is how change occurs in everyone. It is a subtle process that largely goes without notice, yet it is operating in consciousness constantly. When we decide to work with a Spiritual Life Coach, we take this process into our own hands and accelerate it. A Coach is an expert in asking provocative questions that challenge your current mindset and belief systems. A Coach provides insight into your current life circumstance and offers new ways to think, act and behave which sets a client off towards living a more satisfied and fulfilled life that is in line with their personal aspirations and dreams.

To be conscious or unconscious, that is the question! The process of questioning our reality and beliefs is an ongoing progressive process that occurs throughout our lives. This is how life is meant to be lived; constantly maturing, expanding, and growing into ever newer, better versions of ourselves. 

Are you done with feeling stuck and ready for change? If so, I’d love to work with you! Please click the button below and let’s set up a call to get started on consciously creating your life! 

Human Conscious Evolution In A Nutshell

Everyone is talking about being more aware or mindful these days but what does that really mean? Did you know that being aware does not mean paying greater attention? Attention has to do with concentrated focus on an object or activity. Awareness on the other hand is directly correlated to how consciously evolved you are.

Consciousness lies on a continuous spectrum and many scientists, philosophers and mystics have attempted to map human conscious evolution using various models. For example, Transpersonal Psychologist Abraham Maslow created the now famous Hierarchy of Needs which very simply illustrates how human beings must first have their physiological needs met before finally reaching what he expressed as human self-actualization.

Different Models For Human Conscious Evolution

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

David Hawkin’s Level’s of Consciousness

Another interesting model by which to express human conscious evolution would be the lesser known Dr. David R Hawkin’s Level’s of Consciousness. David was a psychiatrist who had a clinical practice in NY for many decades before turning into a popular spiritual teacher in Sedona, AZ. He is the author of many books including the most well known, Power vs. Force – The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior.

Dr. Hawkin’s has created a logarithmic model for human conscious evolution using an emotional scale and view of life. He describes in detail how an individual can hope to move beyond negative emotional states of shame, guilt and apathy to more positive states of love, joy and peace.

The basis of his work is to draw awareness to the fact that humans can move beyond their current state of conscious evolution through concentrated effort and a willingness to let go of beliefs that no longer serve them. The scale starts with the consciousness level of shame which Hawkins gives a frequency of 20 and ends with the consciousness level of enlightenment where Hawkins attributes a numerical range of 700-1000.

Yogic Chakra System

Another very popular model for human conscious evolution is the ancient yogic science chakra system most referred to in ayurvedic, acupuncture, Chinese, Japanese or Tibetan energy medicine. This system refers to the subtle energy centers located within and around the human subtle body and serve as the energy regulators for human conscious awareness. Chakras are located all throughout the subtle body but the most powerful centers are located along the spinal column and start with the muladhara and extend to the sahasrara. This very complex energy system also serves as a model for human conscious evolution as the energy starting from the root chakra also known as the muladhara, deals mainly with physical survival and preservation of the species. An individual whose energy is focused on the higher chakras of the ajna or sahasrara interact with life from a more integrated place of wholeness, have a keen sense of perception and clarity and are no longer subject to limited belief systems or subconscious programming.

Evolving Past Victim Personality and Moving Towards Creator Being

All of these models of human evolution parallel each other with regard to progressive states of self-awareness. When an individual is only mildy self-aware they are primarily concerned with survival and self preservation. Individual’s occupying this energy level feel a strong sense of separation from everyone and everything, see the world as black and white, and feel as if life happens to them. Many individual’s unconsciously adopt a victim-like personality due to the lack of foresight for creating better life situations for themselves. Additionally, these people lack the fundamental understanding that their thoughts, emotions and actions create their reality.

However, as individuals correlate their thoughts and emotions to outside circumstances they are better able to manage their day to day lives with some level of consistency. The next phase would then be to understand the energy dynamics of human relationships and how our sense of self evolves through the mirroring of other’s behavior.

Many individual’s are locked into a constant power play of relationship dynamics and can stay there for a lifetime without maturing past this maturation phase. It’s hallmark is the preoccupation with other people’s thoughts, opinions and feelings and the tug of war that ensues when an individual simultaneously wants to be accepted by a person or group but also wants to be free from imposed expectations and belief systems. 

Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict-ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness. – Eckhart Tolle, The Power Of Now

More mature individual’s recognize the need to be involved in relationships but not overly entangled in other people’s affairs. They have the ability to disengage before any emotional power plays begin. The ability to do this comes from a place of deep understanding that one is not defined by another and expectations for seeking happiness outside of oneself is the cause for all suffering.

This process of conscious evolution towards a more integrated and whole Self is the journey of all of humanity. Progressive states of higher consciousness are held by individual’s interested in going beyond the limitations of the body and mind and being in union with existence; the true definition of yoga. It is everyone’s destiny to evolve to the highest pinnacle of human evolution. The only question is, how can one go about quickening the process?

If You Want Happiness – You Must Take Responsibility

Everyone seeks happiness and wants to be happy, the limitation is simply the assumption that external things, people, places, or experiences bring on the feeling of happiness. This premise is false as happiness is actually a quality of consciousness that is innate to all human beings and is brought about when more conscious awareness is evident in a given individual. As one acquires more power and evolves consciously this sense of innate happiness, joy, contentment and bliss is an every moment reality. Thus we come full circle to our initial discussion of cultivating greater awareness and mindfulness in our daily lives because people have been told that this is the only way to maintain lasting happiness.

Humanity is at a very interesting stage where we are actively seeking solutions to the issues and problems that we have created. There is greater awareness to our environment, we are taking better care of our physical bodies and we feel drawn to mentors, guides, teachers and spiritual life coaches who have walked the path before us and can extend a helpful hand to assist in our conscious growth.

So what can we do to quicken our conscious evolution so that we may feel unlimited freedom, happiness, and joy? The most important thing that anyone can do is to start where they are and accept responsibility for everything in their life. After we accept our reality as it is without running from it, evading it, denying it, justifying it, excusing it, or ignoring it we must be willing to do the work necessary to grow. Growth means change and change often times means feeling uncomfortable in new surroundings.

“I want to change you” – that is not a revolution. “I’m willing to change” – now this is a revolution. – Sadhguru

Change can take many forms and includes all dimensions of being human including: physical, mental, emotional and energetic.

How To Be Happy – Physical, Mental, Emotional and Energetic Dimensions

Humans have two dimensions that we are consciously aware of; the physical and the mental/emotional. Some individual’s have a heightened sensitivity to the energetic dimension of prana, ki, chi, shakti, etc either through consistent spiritual practice or due to previous karmic implications.

With regard to the physical dimension, individual’s can certainly put more awareness to their diet as this has a direct effect on resulting hormones, moods, and mental clarity in everyday life. Eating more raw natural foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts and legumes while limiting the intake of sugar, refined carbohydrates, alcohol, caffeine and chemical preservatives are all straightforward ways to give ourselves a natural energy boost and feel better both in body and mind.

Additionally, regular and consistent exercise that includes both cardio exertion for our heart health as well as weight training to maintain bone density and muscle strength is also necessary to keep our bodies fit as we navigate through life and get older. Other ways to enhance our energy levels and resulting mood everyday: drink purified water, get direct sunlight, breath fresh air and receive enough rest so we are not always running with a sense of energy depletion.

On the mental and emotional dimension we can limit our exposure to negative news, superfluous celebrity gossip, sensationalized politics, or time wasting behavior on social media outlets. Our ‘mental diet’ and what we choose to let enter our consciousness on a daily basis is just as important as having a healthy food diet. If we are bombarded with negative stressors on a daily basis our bodies are constantly running on a fight, flight or freeze response with high cortizone levels that toxify our blood and organs. If left unchecked this way of living manifests in lowered overall immunity which can create autoimmune diseases, hormonal disruptions, an overly sensitive neurological system and leave the body susceptible to pathogens such as viruses and bacterial infections.

We must also take responsibility for the environment that we live in and the people that we surround ourselves with. if left unchecked, negative energies from unhappy and unhealthy people can profoundly affect our well being and build up overtime to create physical dis-ease and mental imbalances.

Finally, we also must take responsibility for our energy state. This more elusive dimension can be accessed through meditation, contemplation, concentration, and psychosomatic methods such as massage, reflexology, acupuncture, eft, emdr, chanting, hatha yoga, kinesiology, homeopathy, bach flower remedies, and many more.

Meditation is the best way to cultivate a greater sense of peace and joy in life while also assisting in the conscious evolution of the individual. As one meditates and accesses higher and finer levels of consciousness the individual lets go of old negative programming, resolves subconscious fears and anxieties, forgives old traumas and emotional wounds, can sustain more powerful vibratory energy pulsating though the body/mind and allows one to perceive from a much higher perspective of freedom and natural bliss.

In this way we take control of our conscious evolution through the four dimensions available to us. We no longer have to be the victims of outside influences and situations and see ourselves as separate and alone. As we mature and progress we know we are a small part of the greater whole of humanity and existence itself and help boost others through our higher frequency. The kindness, love, forgiveness and compassion we offer ourselves is also automatically offered to others as we go about our daily lives. 

We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become. – David R. Hawkins

In what ways have you taken control of your life to evolve to a higher and finer level of consciousness? What results have you seen in your life and what effect have you had on others?

Dare To Free Yourself From Limiting Beliefs

Do you put other people’s well-being above your own and call yourself accommodating, empathic, a martyr, too nice, or a peace-maker? Do you justify this behavior by telling yourself you just want to make things easier for everyone, you’d rather help than be helped, you want people to like you, you prefer to stay out of confrontation and away from conflict or just don’t want to make a mistake and come across as foolish?

This way of thinking may serve as a viable coping mechanism when you are at a loss of how to make a better decision, but if left unchecked over many years this behavior can mature into a deeply ingrained habit that you have now accepted as a part of you. What once started out as an easy solution to an immediate problem has now become a recurring pattern in reaction to life and various situations. If you are suffering from chronic depression, sadness, resentment or anger and are interested in freeing yourself from your limiting beliefs then Spiritual Life Coaching is ready for you.

What Is A Belief?

If we think of the human mind as computer hardware, we can liken beliefs as computer software that we download to run predetermined programs. Someone that experienced a trauma in life may have learned that keeping quiet keeps unwanted attention away. This may have served it’s purpose at that particular time, however without consciously checking in to gauge whether or not this belief is still appropriate, you are at the mercy of interpreting all life events as a potential threat. If there is no immediate sense of danger to your survival then this belief of keeping quiet to keep the peace is no longer working for you; it is working against you.

Beliefs serve a purpose in our conscious evolution to help us move through life. Beliefs are like stepping stones or rungs on a ladder; to be used for a short time until we outgrow them and move on to a more empowering and inclusive way of perceiving reality. For example, as children we all viewed our parents as god-like figures that never made mistakes. We all were very heavily influenced by our parents and took on much of their same beliefs and ways of operating in the world simply because that’s all we knew. However, as we grew older our perspective of them inevitably changed due to a more diverse set of life experience to draw upon. Overtime, we come to see that our parents are not infallible and in fact do not have all the answers. Thus our belief of our parents has graduated to a more mature perspective.

 “Life itself is neither good nor bad; it just is.” – Liz Hancock

Life itself is neither good nor bad; it just is. As human beings we navigate through life using different levels of perception to determine our immediate reality. As mentioned in my earlier post, Human Conscious Evolution in a Nutshell, we all see life differently. Some of us see life as a beautiful miracle full of wonderful perfect-timing-surprises and others see life as dreary, sad, and full of pain. It is not life that is the determining factor – it is YOU.

The obstacle with most people is that they don’t outgrow their early beliefs and unconsciously remain stuck using outdated coping mechanisms to solve present day challenges.

If you are really interested in freeing yourself from limiting beliefs and behavior then you need to WIN:

  • What – Find out what your beliefs/programs are; create more self-awareness; understand your cognitive dissonance (this is Spiritual Coaching at its best!)
  • Identification – Finding out the ‘what’ will give you an indication of what you are currently identified with (I’m a good person, I’m a likeable person, I’m a sensitive person, I’m a do-gooder, I’m not worthy, I’m not deserving, etc.) This software is running in the background, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy with all your experiences and interactions, and essentially is running your life!
  • New Conscious Choice – When you know how you identify yourself (what software you have downloaded) then you can consciously choose to change your current mind-set and beliefs to accommodate the person you prefer to be (ex: a nice person with firm boundaries, a deserving person that is worthy of love, a kind and loving person that says no, etc.)

Questions To Ask Yourself

Here are some questions I ask my clients when they are interested in breaking through their limitations and are ready for change:

1. What are some positive aspects and side-effects that this belief/behavior has provided you?

Asking yourself what ‘juice’ you get out of a given situation will help you uncover why you’ve chosen to keep it for as long as you have. For example, someone who calls themselves a doormat or martyr perhaps gets a label of being very nice and easy to get along with. Your software program says that very nice people are always liked. Therefore, you always strive to be nice in every single situation because you want everyone to like you. There is always a reason you have kept a certain belief; you just need to uncover what the reason is.

In this example you must be completely honest with yourself and understand that you’ve created an attachment to the identification of being nice. Identification is the number one way humans get stuck in life; we think we are fixed in our beliefs and personalities and do not have the choice or power to change.

Through Spiritual Life Coaching we learn that identifications are just roles we choose to play in life; they are malleable and flexible depending on what we want to accomplish.   

2. What else do you get out of believing this belief? What are ALL the benefits? 

If you keep digging you’ll soon find that there are many other reasons for not wanting to change your core belief of being a people pleaser. For example, many people soon discover that they have taken the easy way out of life by avoiding conflict at all costs. If you are completely honest with yourself, you’ll discover that the energy behind this is fear and may show up in many different forms including: shame, guilt, apathy, grief, anger, lethargy, or even laziness.

By choosing to easily avoid a given situation you unknowingly perpetuate the repeated pattern of this cycle over and over again. If you dare to see reality as it truly is, often times you’ll see that there isn’t anyone that is being controlling, overbearing, or threatening to you, yet you choose to see life this way as it perpetuates your belief of always being persecuted as a victim. You are creating your own self-fulfilling prophecy!

Many people are tired of having the same situations come into their lives but they lack the greater awareness that they are actually unconsciously attracting them! Avoiding and ignoring something always attracts more of it. In this world, nothing disappears unless you confront it.

3. Which of these benefits do you know you want to keep? What are some of the benefits that you simply cannot live without? 

Through Spiritual Coaching we navigate through what characteristics you want to keep while at the same time letting go of old beliefs and programs that no longer serve you. For example, someone may like to be known as a kind and empathic person but want to let go of the need to always accommodate other’s needs first. It is absolutely possible for someone to remain sensitive to other’s feelings and emotions without taking on this energy as their own.

Through Spiritual Coaching, client’s learn to get out of black and white thinking (“I must be nice ALL the time”, or “I can never say no”) and migrate into a more fluid view of themselves and the world (“I say yes when it works for me and my needs and say no when it doesn’t work for me and my needs; I understand that my needs change over time and circumstances”).

An individual can still be known as nice and kind while still upholding their boundaries and communicating their needs effectively.

4. In what other ways can you meet each identified positive need?

As you continue diving deep into your belief structure and the reasons you have held tight to them, you can choose other ways to meet these needs. Someone that wants to be seen as nice can choose to do something that would serve this need by volunteering for a cause that resonates with you, serving in your local community, helping a neighbor, choosing a career or vocation that helps and serves others, working with plants, animals or children, exploring artistic passions such as cooking or baking, painting, or sculpture, the options are endless.

These are all constructive ways in which to expend your energy, express yourself and your identifications. In this way, you are still keeping your desire to be considered nice and of value, but are focusing this energy in a very specific way. With your desire to be of service now focused in a clear direction, you let go of the unnecessary feelings of unworthiness, guilt, resentment, or anger; you no longer feel the guilt of having to accommodate others at your expense, or take on other’s energy as yours, or avoid confrontation if/when it is necessary. You have now created a new software program that says you are nice and kind but have clear boundaries and limits to the amount of energy you will spend and where you will spend it! 

Honesty, Integrity and Responsibility

 

Change comes only when we get honest with ourselves. We must realize that our lives are 100% our making and stop the victim narrative of always being persecuted. The truth is that most of the time it is only our belief of being taken advantage of that keeps us in the never ending cycle of seeing ourselves as martyrs and people pleasers. If it is undeniable that you are being taken advantage of, then it is time to take responsibility and see how your actions and beliefs have put you in this predicament.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Are you strong enough to let go of the past to consciously create a new future? Are you courageous enough to put forth the time and energy to take responsibility for your life and make the necessary changes to live a life full of happiness and joy? Do you have the necessary integrity to persevere and stay on course even when things get tough?

No one ever changed themselves by taking the easy way out – the path of self discovery has always been one of blunt honesty, an earnest desire to change, the upholding of integrity and perseverance, and of course responsibility. If you are ready to take charge of your life then please contact me, I’d love to work with you.

 

From Believing To Knowing = True Transformation

 

Our personalities and identifications are accumulated constructions of past life experiences and our reactions to these experiences. We have acquired lifetimes worth of unconscious reactions to external and internal stimuli. As one embarks on the spiritual path we do so knowing that we aim to dissolve these unconscious reactions to life and instead acquire the ability to respond consciously; self-realization. When we are willing to go within to get beyond, we slowly migrate from Believing to Knowing.

In order to respond consciously to life one must cultivate their mind in such a way that their unconscious tendencies and compulsions are quieted, subdued, distanced and even erased. In order to do this, one needs to raise their vibration and bring in more energy (prana, ki, chi, shakti, etc) into their mind/body system. Everyone is familiar with eating food as our main energy source, but in fact this is a very crude and gross way of invigorating our minds and bodies. A much more efficient way to bring more energy into our systems is to meditate. Meditation quiets the mind and relaxes the body and with regular practice raises our level of consciousness. When we meditate our bodies and brain slowly get accustomed to taking on higher and finer levels of energy which directly affect our way of perceiving the world and how we interact with it.

Thus, meditation is essentially the systematic process of peeling back and removing thousands of layers of accumulated identifications, beliefs, compulsions and tendencies that comprise our ego. What we are left with is a pure natural state unencumbered with previous software data that limits our perceptions to life and our world. This heightened natural state of perception is every human’s birthright. Humans have the ability to expand our consciousness infinitely.

As a Spiritual Life Coach I assist clients in whatever part of the journey they are on, whether they want to focus their energies/desires/identifications in a more healthy direction or they simply want to remove the false ego and live life free from any fixed personality and instead be more aligned with the true source of life and experience unlimited freedom!

Live A More Enlightened Life!

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Elizabeth Hancock CPC, CSC - Spiritual Teacher & Empowerment Coach

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