The Virtue of Paying Attention

 

I recently attended a local bike coalition charity dinner and auction for the third year in a row as my husband is an avid cyclist. As we made our way to our table, I recognized two familiar faces. I smiled and reached out my hand to say hello but before I could the woman said to me, “Hello, nice to meet you. You must be new. I’m Virginia.” I was amused as I said, “We’ve met twice before. I’m Liz, I was here last year and the year before.” The woman looked genuinely confused but smiled politely and then hurriedly looked down into her phone to gauge where she was at in the online bidding war for her new bike bench.

As the night continued, I enjoyed small talk with the couple and asked about their previous year’s winnings, she, a light reflector jacket for cycling and him a new helmet. They both were surprised yet touched that I remembered such small details.

This experience happens quite frequently where I remember faces seen just once or recall a conversation nearly word for word. People tend to think that I have some amazing memory but in fact I simply pay attention. Wherever I am or find myself to be, I give total uncompromising attention to my present experience. This is not something that I consciously aim to do. This is a natural consequence and result of many years of meditation and subsequent slowing down of internal thoughts in order to allow the present moment to shine through.

Why Paying Attention Matters – Effortless Grace and Ease

Our bodies and minds are tools that we use to navigate this reality. Many people are so deeply identified with their bodies and minds that their awareness and attention is solely focused on these two dimensions exclusively. If all your energy is focused on your body (five senses including: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch) or your mind (random thoughts, excited emotions, past memories and future projections) then that leaves very little energy to actually pay attention and be aware of your world.

Increasing your available energy to pay 100% attention to your present experience is what mindfulness, or a sustained meditation practice is all about. Spiritual or conscious evolution is essentially increasing your capacity and capability to be fully aware and attentive to your present surroundings.

One may wonder why paying attention is such a valuable commodity. The reason is because, if you offer uncompromising awareness and attention to your present experience you will navigate life without unnecessary negative consequences, pitfalls, or limitations.

A fully conscious person is not immune to negative circumstances or events, but their higher perceptions and increased clarity allow them more options to seek a solution to whatever challenge is currently presented to them. People that are heavily influenced by their body senses and/or internal thoughts do not have enough energy to clear the space for more options. Options come from clarity of mind and one can act far more efficiently, effortlessly and intelligently than those who struggle to see the forest from the trees.

Some years ago, when my grandmother was still alive, I received a frantic phone call from my aunt telling me that my grandmother was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. At the time my grandmother was 92 years old. I was sad to hear this, but I knew that my grandmother wouldn’t live forever and that her body was starting to break down and cancer had overtaken her normally healthy immune system. To my surprise my aunt then told me that my grandmother’s doctor recommended a mastectomy as soon as possible in order to stop the cancer from spreading. As I listened, I heard many thoughts pop up into my mindscape; ‘She is too old for such an invasive procedure’, ‘this sounds like an over the top and drastic solution’, ‘there must be another way to go about treating this’. I calmly described each of these ideas to my aunt, but she was overcome with emotion and almost desperate to get the appointment scheduled for my grandmother to go have her mastectomy immediately.

My aunt even went so far as to describe in vivid detail a nonexistent wound that would swell and fester and create much unnecessary pain for my grandmother. My aunt was very much sold on the idea of the emergency mastectomy and was defending her position by trying to convince me that this was the right direction to take. Yet, I remained calm and steady as I listened to her words. When I realized that my aunt wouldn’t listen to any other alternative, I simply said, “at least get another opinion from a highly credited geriatric oncologist to see what other options we have.” The phone went silent and my aunt had nothing to say. It never occurred to her to seek a 2nd opinion much less discover an alternative treatment.

A week later my aunt called me again to tell me that they went to see another oncologist at Loyola Hospital, and she prescribed noninvasive hormone therapy in order to shrink the small tumor. Both my grandmother and aunt elected for this option and things soon settled back to normal.

How to Develop A Clear Mind

We live in a physical universe governed by physical laws. Our bodies require food for energy and sleep for rejuvenation and repair. Money is the currency we use to live in a house, buy food, purchase clothes, and drive a car. We earn a living in various ways depending on capability, experience, and or intellect.

Developing a clear mind is no different from losing weight or earning a master’s degree. One needs to do the prescribed actions on a consistent basis in order to actualize results. The only question is, are you dedicated, disciplined, and motivated enough to put forth the necessary effort to live more consciously?

We don’t have to worry about beating our heart to pump our blood to our various organs, muscles and brain. Life and existence have taken this burden from us. Likewise, we don’t manage our breathing or think about consciously filling our lungs with enough oxygen in order to keep us alive. This happens for us and is a gift from existence to not be burdened with this internal process. Everything happens for us so we may free up our minds to explore creation as we see fit. Thus, it goes as no surprise that the most ancient and simple method for developing a clear mind is to watch our breath.

Watching our breath can be done anytime anywhere and it is done exactly as described. Watch. Your. Breath. It is that simple. We are not deep breathing; we are not managing the process. We are simply being aware of our breath. Being aware of this consistent process regularly trains the mind to be in the present moment. If we are in the present moment we are not thinking of the past or remembering a previous event or experience, we are not imagining a potential future, we are not participating in a nonexistent conversation with someone in our heads, we are not worrying, we are not debating, we are not fantasizing, we are not day dreaming. We are simply watching our breath.

At first one may perform this exercise sitting with eyes closed. This will lead one through the classic stages of Dharana and Dhyana (concentration and classic meditation) and perhaps Samadhi (various levels of bliss attainment beyond mind/body awareness). When you feel comfortable doing this exercise sitting down you can graduate to watching your breath as you go about your daily routine. To many this suggestion sounds impossible, but trust me, with enough practice this becomes a natural state of consciousness.

The Natural Excitement and Wonder Of Existence  

When you go about your day being aware of your breath you are in the present moment and seeing only what the present moment and experience brings to you. Thus, your level of awareness increases and your attention to detail grows.

You notice things you weren’t aware of before, the smell of flowers, the way the sunlight dances across the sidewalk, the gentle breeze through your hair and across your face. You hear a child laughing or a bird singing. You notice the insect crossing your path or see the wise old man watching you on the bench. You notice the woman talking fast because she’s nervous and needs assurance or the executive on the phone to a customer and sense he is telling a fib to get an unfair advantage. You notice the runner coming towards you and you can see, sense, feel and know their exuberance of being alive in a body that is strong, capable and free.

Life is full of excitement without looking for it. We just need to be attentive and the only way we can do this is to cultivate a mind that is clear, calm, and ready to work at our command – not the other way around.

If you would like to learn more about awareness, consciousness, meditation, or clarity please contact me for a free 30-minute discovery session where we can discuss your needs and what you’d like to bring more of into your life. I look forward to speaking with you!

Feeling Fear In The Present Moment

Fear.

We all know it’s easy to be our best and brightest selves when life is easy; when our body works the way we want, when events go as planned, or when all our expectations are being met.

It’s easy to be that kind, caring, compassionate, person when everything goes our way.

But we all know that life doesn’t always work like this. Sometimes we are met with circumstances that are out of our control and suddenly things take a turn for the worse.

We’ve all been there.

But when things go wrong and we think that life should be giving us something else, this is when the problem starts. This is where suffering begins. And this is called ‘resistance’.

Resistance is when we deny what is happening because we wish it would be something else.

Resistance is fear.

Everyone suffers resistance. Some of us more than others. Part of our process of evolving, becoming, and maturing is to deal with the present moment and learn to face what life offers us with courage, strength, and an attitude of acceptance.

Find out more in today’s video where I explain how resistance affects our thoughts. I also narrate an ancient Zen story about a farmer and his unique expression of “maybe”…..

 

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Elizabeth Hancock CPC, CSC - Spiritual Teacher & Empowerment Coach

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