How To Stop Caring About What Others Think of You

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Do you worry about what others think of you or what they might say behind your back?

If you do, then you are not alone. Nearly everyone has worried about what someone will think of them at some time or another in their life.

The fear of being judged is a common fear; nearly everyone suffers from it. But there is a way to get beyond this fear and to rise above it.

There is a way for us to understand where this fear of being judged comes from and what we can do to set ourselves free.

The good news is, you don’t have to suffer from this and there is a permanent way out! 

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The Virtue of Paying Attention

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I recently attended a local bike coalition charity dinner and auction for the third year in a row as my husband is an avid cyclist. As we made our way to our table, I recognized two familiar faces. I smiled and reached out my hand to say hello but before I could the woman said to me, “Hello, nice to meet you. You must be new. I’m Virginia.” I was amused as I said, “We’ve met twice before. I’m Liz, I was here last year and the year before.” The woman looked genuinely confused but smiled politely and then hurriedly looked down into her phone to gauge where she was at in the online bidding war for her new bike bench.

As the night continued, I enjoyed small talk with the couple and asked about their previous year’s winnings, she, a light reflector jacket for cycling and him a new helmet. They both were surprised yet touched that I remembered such small details.

This experience happens quite frequently where I remember faces seen just once or recall a conversation nearly word for word. People tend to think that I have some amazing memory but in fact I simply pay attention. Wherever I am or find myself to be, I give total uncompromising attention to my present experience. This is not something that I consciously aim to do. This is a natural consequence and result of many years of meditation and subsequent slowing down of internal thoughts in order to allow the present moment to shine through.

Why Paying Attention Matters – Effortless Grace and Ease

Our bodies and minds are tools that we use to navigate this reality. Many people are so deeply identified with their bodies and minds that their awareness and attention is solely focused on these two dimensions exclusively. If all your energy is focused on your body (five senses including: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch) or your mind (random thoughts, excited emotions, past memories and future projections) then that leaves very little energy to actually pay attention and be aware of your world.

Increasing your available energy to pay 100% attention to your present experience is what mindfulness, or a sustained meditation practice is all about. Spiritual or conscious evolution is essentially increasing your capacity and capability to be fully aware and attentive to your present surroundings.

One may wonder why paying attention is such a valuable commodity. The reason is because, if you offer uncompromising awareness and attention to your present experience you will navigate life without unnecessary negative consequences, pitfalls, or limitations.

A fully conscious person is not immune to negative circumstances or events, but their higher perceptions and increased clarity allow them more options to seek a solution to whatever challenge is currently presented to them. People that are heavily influenced by their body senses and/or internal thoughts do not have enough energy to clear the space for more options. Options come from clarity of mind and one can act far more efficiently, effortlessly and intelligently than those who struggle to see the forest from the trees.

Some years ago, when my grandmother was still alive, I received a frantic phone call from my aunt telling me that my grandmother was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. At the time my grandmother was 92 years old. I was sad to hear this, but I knew that my grandmother wouldn’t live forever and that her body was starting to break down and cancer had overtaken her normally healthy immune system. To my surprise my aunt then told me that my grandmother’s doctor recommended a mastectomy as soon as possible in order to stop the cancer from spreading. As I listened, I heard many thoughts pop up into my mindscape; ‘She is too old for such an invasive procedure’, ‘this sounds like an over the top and drastic solution’, ‘there must be another way to go about treating this’. I calmly described each of these ideas to my aunt, but she was overcome with emotion and almost desperate to get the appointment scheduled for my grandmother to go have her mastectomy immediately.

My aunt even went so far as to describe in vivid detail a nonexistent wound that would swell and fester and create much unnecessary pain for my grandmother. My aunt was very much sold on the idea of the emergency mastectomy and was defending her position by trying to convince me that this was the right direction to take. Yet, I remained calm and steady as I listened to her words. When I realized that my aunt wouldn’t listen to any other alternative, I simply said, “at least get another opinion from a highly credited geriatric oncologist to see what other options we have.” The phone went silent and my aunt had nothing to say. It never occurred to her to seek a 2nd opinion much less discover an alternative treatment.

A week later my aunt called me again to tell me that they went to see another oncologist at Loyola Hospital, and she prescribed noninvasive hormone therapy in order to shrink the small tumor. Both my grandmother and aunt elected for this option and things soon settled back to normal.

How to Develop A Clear Mind

We live in a physical universe governed by physical laws. Our bodies require food for energy and sleep for rejuvenation and repair. Money is the currency we use to live in a house, buy food, purchase clothes, and drive a car. We earn a living in various ways depending on capability, experience, and or intellect.

Developing a clear mind is no different from losing weight or earning a master’s degree. One needs to do the prescribed actions on a consistent basis in order to actualize results. The only question is, are you dedicated, disciplined, and motivated enough to put forth the necessary effort to live more consciously?

We don’t have to worry about beating our heart to pump our blood to our various organs, muscles and brain. Life and existence have taken this burden from us. Likewise, we don’t manage our breathing or think about consciously filling our lungs with enough oxygen in order to keep us alive. This happens for us and is a gift from existence to not be burdened with this internal process. Everything happens for us so we may free up our minds to explore creation as we see fit. Thus, it goes as no surprise that the most ancient and simple method for developing a clear mind is to watch our breath.

Watching our breath can be done anytime anywhere and it is done exactly as described. Watch. Your. Breath. It is that simple. We are not deep breathing; we are not managing the process. We are simply being aware of our breath. Being aware of this consistent process regularly trains the mind to be in the present moment. If we are in the present moment we are not thinking of the past or remembering a previous event or experience, we are not imagining a potential future, we are not participating in a nonexistent conversation with someone in our heads, we are not worrying, we are not debating, we are not fantasizing, we are not day dreaming. We are simply watching our breath.

At first one may perform this exercise sitting with eyes closed. This will lead one through the classic stages of Dharana and Dhyana (concentration and classic meditation) and perhaps Samadhi (various levels of bliss attainment beyond mind/body awareness). When you feel comfortable doing this exercise sitting down you can graduate to watching your breath as you go about your daily routine. To many this suggestion sounds impossible, but trust me, with enough practice this becomes a natural state of consciousness.

The Natural Excitement and Wonder Of Existence  

When you go about your day being aware of your breath you are in the present moment and seeing only what the present moment and experience brings to you. Thus, your level of awareness increases and your attention to detail grows.

You notice things you weren’t aware of before, the smell of flowers, the way the sunlight dances across the sidewalk, the gentle breeze through your hair and across your face. You hear a child laughing or a bird singing. You notice the insect crossing your path or see the wise old man watching you on the bench. You notice the woman talking fast because she’s nervous and needs assurance or the executive on the phone to a customer and sense he is telling a fib to get an unfair advantage. You notice the runner coming towards you and you can see, sense, feel and know their exuberance of being alive in a body that is strong, capable and free.

Life is full of excitement without looking for it. We just need to be attentive and the only way we can do this is to cultivate a mind that is clear, calm, and ready to work at our command – not the other way around.

If you would like to learn more about awareness, consciousness, meditation, or clarity please contact me for a free 30-minute discovery session where we can discuss your needs and what you’d like to bring more of into your life. I look forward to speaking with you!

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Becoming Energy Rich – How To Plug Into Source To Stay High

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Human beings are like living batteries. The amount of energy we have available each day is determined by many things including karmic imprints and lifestyle choices. When one is on the spiritual path, increasing your available energy and keeping it at a high vibration is of utmost importance. We stay high to not only experience life in a more purified and blissful state of consciousness but we also keep ourselves energy rich to assist the conscious growth of others and prepare ourselves for our own awakening and self-realization. Any form of spiritual practice is meant to increase the vibration of the human energy system and expand our level of consciousness.

When an individual is energy rich they not only have the physical stamina to withstand many daily activities but they have the mental control to stay on task without deviation, disruption, distraction, or boredom. In other words, they are in total conscious control of their living experience.

As you may imagine, living with total awareness takes a tremendous amount of conscious energy. To be able to sense your environment effortlessly, know the appropriate way to respond, and not take on any negative energy takes a high degree of self-mastery. Those individuals who live in this high vibrational state choose their state of mind and emotional response. Life isn’t happening to them but rather IN THEM. Individual’s with this level of presence choose to interact in a peaceful and loving manner with detachment to outcome and freedom from expectations. This is the highest way to experience life.

Live Like a Master

In order to aspire to live as a Master, one needs to understand basic energy principles. Perhaps the easiest way to maintain a high vibration throughout the day is simply to learn how not to leak it. Any information that we take in through our five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch takes energy to process. Though the vast majority of this goes unnoticed and is stored subconsciously, we are taking in innumerable points of data every moment we exist.

The external environment plays a huge role on human consciousness along with mental and physical health. The average person naively offers their mind, body and emotions to extremely damaging energetic vibrations that come in many forms: negative news, vacuous social media updates, pointless celebrity rumors, low vibratory music, shallow gossip, depressing people and gloomy living environments.

When we allow this energy to creep into our mind and affect our emotions we naturally become agitated, anxious and sometimes even angry. This surplus of accumulated negative energy lowers our vibration. When this occurs people tend to look for ways to release and throw off the negativity through recurring cycles of gossip, jealousy, resentment, shame and blame. The body reacts with agitation, shallow breathing, high blood pressure, low functioning organs, and eventual toxicity buildup. The connection between negative/low vibration stimuli with physical disease and mental illness is clear.

Thus, an easy first step towards plugging energy leaks is to take a good look at your current lifestyle and living circumstances. Where do you spend your time? Who are you with? Why are you engaging in this activity? How are you affected by it? What do you stand to gain from it? Can you choose another activity that offers a more uplifting and positive experience?

Self-inquiry and the ability to question our actions and behavior is a fundamental prerequisite towards becoming energy rich. We cannot live a life of high vibrational joy if we do not understand how and where we are limiting ourselves.

See Like a Sage

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Our attitudes determine our perception and thus our reality. Those that are energy rich see reality with crystal-clear clarity, just as it IS without modifying it according to our limited perceptions or beliefs. To attain to this level of clarity in perception one must discard what isn’t true.

Truth is relative to the subjective observer as long as one identifies with a personal story or background anchor personality. A personality is a ‘persona’ or mask we wear to operate in this world, even though our true nature is actually infinite conscious awareness.

Seeing reality without the limitations of a small self or personality is what most of us are working on in our spiritual work and practices. We can accelerate this process by reminding ourselves continually that whatever we can believe about ourselves can never true.

“Any story that you tell about yourself causes suffering. There is no authentic story.” – Byron Katie

Going within and asking oneself “Who Am I?” will elicit many answers from the mind. Keep asking this question until the mind exhausts itself. Sit in the stillness. It has been called by many names but words cannot possibly describe the ineffable. Our true nature is beyond the confines of our bodies, minds, or emotions.

Individuals who ‘carry their personalities like clothing’ are fluid and go with the flow of life. Though they may encounter difficult situations, it is their attitude that determines their individual experience of reality. Creating a distance between our true nature and our many personalities allows one to interact in a wide variety of circumstances and energies without being subject to it. Consciously creating the personality is a skill all enlightened beings have mastered.

“I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am the Now. I Am.” – Eckhart Tolle

Be Like a Buddha

Slowing down the amount of thoughts we have has a direct impact on our mental and physical health. An enlightened person has no thought unless consciously created for a specific purpose. This is exactly how the mind is meant to be used; as a tool for exploration and interaction not as a torture device driving us to insanity.

Since most of us are not operating on that level of energy efficiency we must choose a modified way of slowing down our thought process and conserving our energy. One thing we can do is start a regular meditation practice that entrains the brain to a greater amount of coherency between the two hemispheres. A sustained meditation practice calms the body/mind, offers a higher degree of awareness, alters perception to a more positive reference and outlook to reality, and plugs you into source.

Get High Like a Yogi

Not only does thought affect our mental health but our bodies also process these thoughts and emotions through chemical changes in our blood.

“All experiences are chemical, without any exception.” – Osho

Thus, anger is an actual chemical composition that the body reacts to and manifests. Peace is an actual chemical composition that the body reacts to and manifests. Bliss and feeling high is an actual chemical composition that the body reacts to and manifests! These states of consciousness are accessed through the mind and do not need an external chemical source.

There are many paths towards self-realization. The yogic sciences is by far the most disciplined due to the dual control of both the body and the mind. Yogi’s alter their states of consciousness through breath work and enhanced energy states. When you train the body/mind to follow orders from you, you can consciously choose whatever state of mind you are in. Given this choice, what would you choose?

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with alcohol, I am ignoring it because it doesn’t have enough kick in it. I am constantly drunk on something else – simply drunk on life. I can get intoxicated on just my inhalation and exhalation. People have fallen for alcohol because that is the biggest thing that they have seen. I am offering them a different drink, a drink which is much more intoxicating than alcohol. Most people who have tasted this with me have given up alcohol, not because they think it is bad, but because they think it is kindergarten stuff. They have grown beyond it.” – Sadhguru

Choose Your Fuel Wisely

In the ayurvedic sciences it has long been known to exist three main categories of foods: sattvic, rajasic, and tamasic. Foods that are tamasic cause dullness in the body/mind and make an individual feel listless, tired, and unmotivated to do anything. Rajasic foods are highly irritating and stimulating; they tend to deplete energy quickly. Sattvic foods uplift the body/mind and create pleasantness in the system.

Paying attention to the fuel you give to your body absolutely affects your state of mind. It is best to consume natural, organic foods that are preferably raw with all their natural enzymes. Fruit, vegetables, nuts and legumes are always a safe and reliable source of fuel for the body/mind. Choosing a highly sattvic diet with high pranic availability provides an excellent boost in energy and helps you plug into source easily.

Living an Energy Rich Life

The #1 way to live an energy rich life is to become more aware; more aware of where you leak energy, more aware of how you limit yourself through your story, more aware of your persistent runaway thoughts, and more aware of your physical diet. These are just some ways in which we live unconsciously and at the mercy of external circumstances.

It is time that we learn how to live a life full of joy and love by learning how to use the body/mind to explore creation as it was meant to be experienced. If you are tired of leaking energy and need to make some lifestyle changes a Life Coach Life Coach can help create more awareness to live a more balanced and empowered life.

Spiritual Coaching sessions include self-inquiry, guided meditations, lifestyle design, goal setting and homework to help steer you in the right direction and rediscover your innate talents, gifts and personal power. If you are interested in gaining control of your body/mind and want to learn how to plug into source daily while keeping yourself accountable, please contact me, I would love to work with you! Please click the button below to schedule your free discovery call now!

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Why Do People Talk & Share So Much?

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Even before the internet people have always been fascinated with themselves.

We all know people who like to offer their unsolicited likes, dislikes, thoughts, feelings, opinions, and emotions.

These people always have a story, an anecdote, an opinion, or advice.

We listen to them share their personal stories, their hardships, their triumphs, their memories.

We listen to people’s ideologies, viewpoints, assessments, and overviews.

Some of you are the talkers and some of you are the listeners.

Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever asked what all this is? What’s really happening here?

What is the spiritual significance of all of this?

I answer this question and more in today’s video.
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Listening vs Talking

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One of my most watched youtube videos is The Art of Silence. In this video I talk about the incessant need of sharing and opining via talking, along with the energy consequences of this activity. I also introduce the concept of silence as a spiritual practice to evolve oneself and grow in maturity and conscious evolution. 

The need to constantly share has become more of an obsession with the advent of social media and the unexamined ‘social’ and ‘cultural’ norms of constantly updating one’s life status, thoughts, opinions, and activity levels.

In this world, everyone is fighting for the lead role on the stage of life. Pay attention to me! Listen to me! Watch this! Look at me doing this! See me, hear me, acknowledge me!!!

This is the ego, the unconscious, the unevolved aspect of ourselves that is desperate for attention in whatever form it can get it from. 

The internet aside, socializing and communing with others is equally fascinating.

People love to talk. They especially love to talk about themselves.

But did you ever notice that no one likes to listen? Those that listen are generally therapists, healers, helpers, and/or teachers. 

Those that find themselves in these roles tend to learn through observation, notice patterns, perceive the subtle, gravitate towards silence, prefer nature, and regularly practice self-contemplation and higher self-awareness.

The listeners of this world usually prefer solitude.

Why?

If you no longer have the need to constantly express and impress, then what do you have left?

What is left is life. Simplicity. Purity. Silence. Bliss. 

Satchitananda or Truth, Consciousness, and Bliss

What the ancients have long expressed as: Satchitananda or Truth, Consciousness, and Bliss. 

In the beginning, we stay silent to learn, to observe, to calm the feverish waters of the mind, egoic psyche, and karmic compulsions. 

As we abide in silence, we build greater and greater momentum as more and more self-awareness dawns. We notice things more, we pay attention easier, we come to understand others easily, we stay calm, our intuition grows, and our sensitivity to life expands. 

In the later stages, silence is no longer a disciplined practice but a call back home, our refuge, our center, our source of everything.

Learn to calm the waters of the mind. Practice silence.

Abstain from social media for a time. At first it will be difficult as the mind has an incessant need to share, judge, and compare. How else will you get your fix if you don’t find someone or something else to argue with or about?

Knowing this, give yourself some time to explore silence. At first, let it be a day without any social media updates, mindless flicking of Tik Tock or Youtube shorts, negative news updates, and gossip articles.

Explore this uncomfortable feeling and choose to do something else. Go outside and take a walk. Clean out that closet. Plant a tree, play with your children or pets. Start a new art craft or build something useful.

As you practice silence you gain more time. Time which can be used for self-exploration, personal development, and meditation.

Silence and solitude is not to be feared but to be explored to its depths. 

Do something different and try something new.

Mark Twain Quote on majority

If you are ready to explore silence and the depths of your being and would like a guide and mentor to help you on your path, please click the button below to schedule a discovery call with me. I look forward to working with you!

With you in wholeness,

Elizabeth

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Elizabeth Hancock CPC, CSC - Spiritual Teacher & Empowerment Coach

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