We all admire those with that cool, calm and collected air of presence; a heady combination of self-assurance, wit, ease, and grace. These are the people that walk into a room with all eyes on them; a magnetic force too strong to deny.
They speak with power. They walk with purpose. They command attention without uttering a word.
Where does this self assurance come from? How is self confidence made?
We Are All Growing Into Someone
As youngsters we had to be taught the rules of how to live in this world starting with basic communication skills like speaking, reading and writing. These skills were systematically learned one upon another over years of continuing education. Whether you go so far as to earn your P.h.D or get certified in a vocation, the aim is to acquire a skill set or knowledge base that can be readily implemented to further your livelihood.
As the years go by, this accumulated knowledge is implemented through action over and over again until a certain level of competence has been gained. Accountants crunch numbers, sales people sell, doctors support patients and artists hone their craft.
Experience begets expertise.
Thus it comes as no surprise that those among us who excel at what we do, are more confident than others.
When our knowledge and abilities are continually executed with a high level of precision that results in a successful track record, we build confidence.
Confidence is a skill that can be learned – but more often earned.
Confidence Comes From Competence
So why do so many people suffer from low self-esteem or feel insecure? Well, if all human beings learn the same way and are made up of the same basic genetic structure and mental capabilities, then it stands to reason that most people simply haven’t exerted any level of effort to excel in something by which they can feel confident about.
Confidence is a byproduct of successful execution.
“CONFIDENCE BREEDS SUCCESS AND SUCCESS BREEDS CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE APPLIED PROPERLY SURPASSES GENIUS.” MIKE TYSON
When we say that we suffer from not being ‘confident’, it simply means that we are not really competent. Competence is defined as the ability to do something successfully. Whether it is public speaking, building a business, losing weight or forming healthy romantic relationships, it doesn’t matter what arena of life your self-doubt and insecurity manifests – you have not mastered the skill-set needed to perform at a competent level of mastery.
INFORMATION —> KNOWLEDGE —> EXECUTION = SELF MASTERY = CONFIDENCE
Information that turns into knowledge which is then continuously executed is the formula for Self Mastery. If you’re feeling anxious, insecure and unsure then rest assured you likely haven’t paid your dues or logged enough hours. You cannot earn a black belt in one weekend, build your dream business overnight, or find your true love when you don’t love yourself. In every area of life there is foundation work required before successful execution results in competence. After all, they say that it takes 10,000 hours of practice before you can master any skill. How many hours have you logged?
“I FEAR NOT THE MAN WHO HAS PRACTICED 10,000 KICKS ONCE, BUT I FEAR THE MAN WHO HAS PRACTICED ONE KICK 10,000 TIMES.” – BRUCE LEE
In rare cases where people have tried but have continuously failed, the answer is not in the execution but in the approach. If you are doing something and not getting the results you want, then obviously you need to change your method of execution.
No one said life was easy, but it certainly gives you exactly what you are putting into it. Not getting the results you want? Go out, get new information, turn it into knowledge and execute. Same formula – different data set. Life is really that simple.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What have you wanted to do but have been too afraid to even try?
“I CAN ACCEPT FAILURE, EVERYONE FAILS AT SOMETHING. BUT I CAN’T ACCEPT NOT TRYING.” – MICHAEL JORDAN
Many people have hopes and dreams but fail to execute any of them.
Want to build a business? Having the desire to build one isn’t enough.
Remember the formula? Information —> Knowledge —> Execution = Mastery. Go out and build your knowledge base, read business books, watch videos of entreprenuers and listen to their stories, take business 101 classes, and associate with successful business owners who you can learn from.
Want to feel good about yourself? Having the desire to feel good isn’t enough.
Remember the formula? Information —> Knowledge —> Execution = Mastery. Go out and build your knowledge base, read books by inspiring people, watch videos of how the happy live their lives, take classes that excite you, and associate with happy, healthy, loving people who you can learn from.
Want to lose weight? Having the desire to lose weight isn’t enough.
Remember the formula? Information —> Knowledge —> Execution = Mastery. Go out and build your knowledge base, read books on proper nutrition, watch videos and documentaries of how the physical body works, take classes at the gym and associate with physically active, healthy individuals who are already the living embodiment of the life you want to live.
Life offers many ways in which to obtain new information that can be turned into knowledge. The trick is in going out and obtaining this new information and executing it consistently. With consistency one eventually obtains experience and with experience comes confidence. Life really is that simple.
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Failure is a part of life and those that are at the top of their fields have failed many, many, many times. Mistakes are life’s greatest teacher and many successful people know that any new endeavor will see some inevitable mistakes along the way. This is simply par for the course. Mistakes are natural, normal, and totally acceptable.
“I’VE MISSED MORE THAN 9000 SHOTS IN MY CAREER. I’VE LOST ALMOST 300 GAMES. 26 TIMES, I’VE BEEN TRUSTED TO TAKE THE GAME WINNING SHOT AND MISSED. I’VE FAILED OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE. AND THAT IS WHY I SUCCEED.” – MICHAEL JORDAN
The Time Is Now
Please see that our ‘personality’ is nothing more than a construct; an accumulation of life experiences, knowledge, and the interpretations we put on them. It doesn’t matter where you feel insecure, for insecurity is just limited data or failure of execution. What matters is obtaining the right knowledge from the right place and taking action. If you follow the formula then success and confidence are natural byproducts.
If you’re ready to change, ready to gain different information, new knowledge, and be held accountable for action and execution then a Spiritual Life Coach can help guide you into Self Mastery.
All you need are the right tools and methods to step into your Greatness.
Are you ready to step into yours?
